Messages from family and friends
Picking Up The Pieces
Someone dropped it, no-one knows how,
the most precious of all things.
Somehow it slipped and shattered.
Disbelief assailed us.
Then we understood precious:
a whole lifetime there in the moment,
filling us, carrying us along
on a wave of memory and promise.
On our knees, we scrabble and finger
the pieces, fitting them together.
We hold them gently and recall;
the weight of sorrow is in our eyes.
It shouldn’t be like this, it isn’t right.
The pieces are us, we are in them.
How can we face the future?
Bright dawn blows in from the east.
(poem by Phil Dunkerley)
5 August 2014
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23 July 2014
Dear Cousin Ee Meng and Chin Wee,
Me, my mum and Richard are sadden by the sudden passing of Bryant.
Please accept our deepest condolences and know that you are in our thought in this very difficult time.
Thank you for allowing Peck Siam to share with me the beautiful memorial that you have put up online to celebrate the life of Bryant.
We know how hard things can be losing someone whom we love dearly; do not forget to smile as much as you tear as i believe there are lots of wonderful moments shared.
I have lit a candle for Bryant at mass and will continue to keep him and the both of you in prayer.
Let's try stay strong for love.
Love
Michael and all at home.
Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other
That we are still
Call me by my own familiar name
Speak to me in the easy way you always used
Put no difference into your tone
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed
At the little jokes we always enjoyed together
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was
Let it be spoken without effort
Without the ghost of a shadow in it
Life means all that it ever was
There is absolute unbroken continuity
What is death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind
Because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you for an interval
Somewhere very near
Just around the corner
All is well.
Nothing is past; nothing is lost
One brief moment and all will be as it was before
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!
poem by Henry Scott-Holland
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Dearest Ee Meng,
How deeply sorry we are for your tragic loss, I could not begin to comprehend the sorrow you are feeling right now and am sending your our deepest sympathies and love for your loss. Please know you are in our thoughts and prayers as is the soul of such a charming young man, who I know you were very proud of, for his great achievements in his short, but full life. May he rest in peace.
Please let us know how you are keeping.
Warmest regards,
Vix, Mat and the family x
21 July 2014
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Having first been so shocked by the terrible, terrible news about Bryant, it is so lovely to read here about what Bryant meant to everyone- how well loved and respected he is by so many.
I think I first came across Bryant when I went to accompany a few of his violin teacher's pupils in an informal concert at her house, little realising at the time that it would be the start of a long musical relationship with an exceptional boy, and a special relationship with Ee Meng and Chin Wee. Bryant was about six at the time, very serious about his Suzuki violin playing even then, and I do remember thinking that he really shone out. As I played for him at various events over the years, right up until he left St Paul's, it was a joy to see him develop into an exceptional musician and a lovely rounded human being. Bryant always arrived at my house with his lovely smile, and although we never failed to work hard, we had such a lot of fun making music together! And there was lots of laughter too.
I particularly remember accompanying him for his St Paul's music scholarship- Bryant didn't usually get very nervous for performances, but he was very nervous that day, and I realised how much it meant to him. As we started our rehearsal in the warm up room, he immediately relaxed, as the music making took over and the sense of occasion became secondary. Of course, he played brilliantly and won the scholarship.
As we got to know Bryant, Ee Meng and Chin Wee as a family, they got to know mine very well and we became good friends. One evening , when he was about eleven years old, as we finished our session, my husband Graham happened to mention that we had a pair of (very large) speakers we were trying to put to a good home, and Bryant said he'd like to have them. As we all trooped out to the garage to get them, Bryant spotted an old analogue TV (even larger!) that was destined for the local refuse tip and said he'd like to have that too. We later learned the fate of the telly- Bryant took it apart and put it all back together again in the comfort of his bedroom! I'm not sure that this was an isolated incident, and we always imagined Ee Meng and Chin Wee's house to be a veritable museum of scattered electronic component parts! Bryant's zest for knowledge never ceased to amaze us.
Of course, Bryant's musical and academic achievements never went unnoticed in our house, and my twin girls Eloise and Lana were grateful recipients of many of Bryant's books, which they have used over the years and continue to use. They often listened at the door when I rehearsed with Bryant , remarking at how brilliant he was as soon as he left. We were delighted to be invited along to Bryant's memorable performance of the Wieniawski Legend at the St Paul's Leavers Concert, which the girls particularly loved.
Never could I have imagined that would be the last time I would see Bryant. I have always felt proud of his achievements over the years, and always knew that whatever direction he decided to take, he would do something ground- breaking and perhaps even world-changing. I also knew that he had his love of music to carry him through and that is something we will always share, It is such a tragedy to so many not to have him here any more and we can't begin to imagine the loss that Ee Meng and Chin Wee must feel. They have so much to feel proud of.
Lydia Newlands and family
13 July 2014
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I'm deeply saddened by the passing of Bryant. Having been reunited with my biological family only recently, I had hoped to meet this brilliant son of my dear newfound sister and brother-in-law, Ee Meng and Chin Wee.
Honestly, I don't know much about Bryant. I have only heard from my other biological sister that he's very intelligent and talented. I wanted desperately to get to know him. I spent the last two days ( I learnt of his demise not too long ago) looking at photos of him and watching the videos of his amazing performances. I read his blogs and the messages posted by his teachers and friends. I couldn't help but feel immensely proud of all his pursuits and achievements in his life. I'm also heartened to know that Bryant had inspired many with his positive outlook towards work and life.
Bryant had lived life to its fullest!
The passing of Bryant is a great loss , not just to his family and friends , but to the world. He would have given his all to make the world a better place.
His quality of life, his curious and fun-loving personality and his musical pursuits and achievements will etch in our memories.
RIP, Bryant.
Your Loving Long Lost Aunt Jennifer
9 July 2014
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恒恒，这是我们对你的昵称。
你出世以前，你爸爸让我帮他想名字，我给他提了几个，其中一个是“以恒”，姑姑希望你做任何事都持之以恒。结果你爸爸为你取名“奕恒”。也许因为这样的关系，这么多姑姑当中，我和你最亲近，虽然在你短短二十二年的岁月中，我们才见过六次面。
第一次见你，你才五个月大。
我带奶奶去美国加州看你。难忘每天傍晚奶奶，我，和你妈妈推车出去湖边散步的日子，邻居们见面，都喜欢摸着你的头，叫你 handsome boy。短短的三个星期，我们玩得很开心。记得我回新加坡前一天晚餐时，你坐在学步车里，一直绕着我的椅子走，好像很粘我的样子，一顿晚饭的时间下来，我衣服背后多了七彩的涂鸦，那是你用口水混合你的晚餐（Gerber baby food）的杰作。
第二次见到你，是你们离开美国的前一天。
你爸爸和我约在华盛顿特区见面，隔天再转机飞往德国。那晚我们在旅馆玩躲猫猫，玩得不亦乐乎。那时你才十七个月大。后来你妈妈告诉我，到了德国的前几天，你一直在找姑姑，以为姑姑很厉害，躲了这么多天都没给你找到。
第三次见到你，是一九九六年的华人新年。
那时我到美国工作已经三年没回过家，趁换工作的空档，回家过年。刚好你爸爸被派去中国公干，你们举家搬回新加坡小住半年。那年的华人新年奶奶多么高兴，那是姑姑们和你爸爸五兄弟姐妹大学毕业以后，各自成家，在不同的国家深造或工作以后首次在新加坡聚首。奶奶请一家人三代同堂去餐馆吃团圆饭。我还记得你和同年但小你三个月的表妹抢餐馆的元宝装饰，你爸爸说你是哥哥，应该让给妹妹，你气得嘴嘟嘟的样子，有照片为证。
知道你经常生病，奶奶泡洋参茶给你喝，你二话不说就咕噜咕噜的喝完整杯。后来你妈妈在家里泡给你喝你却拒绝，你妈妈很生气，问你为什么同样的东西，奶奶泡的你才喝，妈妈泡的就不喝，你说那是因为你怕奶奶会伤心。可见你从小就有一颗很体贴和善良的心。
第四次见到你，是隔年的十一月。
我趁美国感恩节的长周末，飞去伦敦度假。素娟姑姑也带奶奶去英国探望你们。抵达的那一天，我们随你妈妈去学校接你放学，想给你一个惊喜。谁知道你只认得素娟姑姑，却对我说你不认识我，我好失望哦！一到家门，你就猛拍门喊奶奶开门，然后扑进奶奶怀里，那一幕直到现在想起都好窝心。
第五次见到你，是二零零五年。
这么久不见，你已经是个十三岁的小男生了。你和妈妈回新加坡办理一些英国居留准证的手续，还来我的公司做义工，之后还和南洋理工学院的学生合作，为智障的学生开发适合他们学习程度的多媒体软件。
记得你回英国那晚，已经皈依了五戒的奶奶特别为你破戒，指导素娟姑姑杀螃蟹，我则负责清洗螃蟹，奶奶亲自煮了她拿手的螃蟹蒸粉丝，给了你最大的蟹钳。过后你说那时你第一次吃螃蟹，也是一生中吃过最好吃的螃蟹。
第六次见到你，就在上个月，二零一四年。
奶奶终于盼到你大学毕业了。已经高龄八十二岁的奶奶，行动有点不便，却坚持要去参加你的毕业典礼。当天从毕业册子里，才知道你不只普通学位毕业，还得了硕士学位，甚至还获颁两项杰出奖。我们真为你感到骄傲。难得的是，你从来不告诉家人，包括你爸爸妈妈你的成就，只默默地努力耕耘，在不同的领域挑战自己更上一层楼。
毕业典礼过后，奶奶坚持去找当年你几个月大时，抱着你在大学校园拍照的胡佛塔。找到以后，奶奶用手比了一下，说你当年才那么大，你立刻蹲下来说，“我现在还很小”，逗得奶奶多么开心（见以下两张照片）。
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谁料到我们回国不出三个星期，就听到你遇难的消息，犹如晴天霹雳，打碎了所有亲人的心。再看你爸爸为你制作的纪念网页，才知道原来心碎的不只是亲人，还有所有教过你的教授，师长，同学，儿时玩伴，甚至只和你有片面之交，平时在宿舍和你擦身而过的学生。而你留给别人的印象，除了多才多艺，绝顶聪明以外，更难能可贵的是你力求向上向善的学习态度，以及待人谦虚，诚恳， 正直的价值观。
到现在，我们都不能接受你已经离开我们的事实。我只能安慰奶奶，说你就像以前一样，生活在世界的另一个角落，不常和我们见面，只是下一次见面遥遥无期罢了。
精彩的活着， 潇洒的离去 ！
素芳姑姑
9/7/2014
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Dear Bryant, your lifespan may be short but the wonderful things that you did and the joy that you brought to family and friends are tremendous. We are so proud of you and you will forever be remembered. Rest in peace, Bryant. Fondly missed by Nai nai and aunty Soo Jiuan.
Love,
Soo Jiuan
9 July 2014
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8 July 2014
Dear Ee Meng & Chin Wee,
Thank you so much for sending me the website link.
It has cheered me up learning more about Bryant (especially the baby videos) and the poem is beautiful.
I will always remember Bryant and although I do not want to talk about him in the past tense, I would like to share some stories about Bryant in the course of our friendship (see below). I also attach a photo of us from my 18th birthday in matching hats! Please do publish these on the website.
My thoughts are with you always,
Love Margot
My favourite moments with Bryant:
No.1 14th February
Having decided that a catch-up was well overdue, Bryant and I decided to meet on a Saturday for coffee. We went to John Lewis and sat in the cafe, all the while rather embarrassed that the waiter addressed us like a couple and was recommending cupcakes with heart decorations on them. It was only until we fully took in the decor, that we realised it was Valentines day! I think this was the first time I had ended up out with a boy on February 14th. So one could say that Bryant was my first (unsuspecting) Valentine.
No. 2 Half a kilo of goats cheese
One of the most unique presents I have ever received was definitely the half kilo of goats cheese and dessert wine combination Bryant brought back from Norway for me. I, of course, graciously accepted but had to wonder what had possessed him to buy this for me. He then told me he remembered me talking about how much I loved brown goats cheese when I visited a goats farm in Norway aged 8. Since then I tried and failed to find it in the UK. I couldn't believe it! He said he brought back enough to make sure I didn't run out for a while...I remember that evening particularly well since it was when I met up with Bryant to say 'Bye' before he left for Stanford. He brought his tripod with him and we went for a walk along Millennium Bridge. He said he wanted to keep some memories of London to take to the US. It was dark and halfway across he stopped, adjusted the camera and captured St Pauls all lit up in its white glow.
No.3 Bach at SPS
I didn't realise until quite late on in our friendship that Bryant played violin as well as he did! After listening to me harping on about playing classical guitar and hearing me play, he finally agreed that I could come and listen to him on the condition that I made it to Barnes! Since it was quite a trek to Hammersmith and beyond, I'm not sure if he actually believed I would come. I was never a huge fan of the violin since it is easy to sound squeaky and shrill, but Bryant really made it special and certainly worth the trek!
I was always in awe at how awesome Bryant was - he was one of the smartest, most gifted people I know and is so genuine, kind and fun! I missed him when he went to the US but was so happy for him going to Stanford. Sometimes we'd both be a bit rubbish at sticking to our Skype times, but I always looked forward to hearing what he was up to from racing solar cars in Australia to climbing trips. He'd always say to come and visit him. I always wanted to go on one of his spontaneous road trips with him! If I have any regrets, it is not taking him up on his offer of visiting sooner. When I do manage to go, I will make sure I drop by Stanford and light a candle for him.
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Cher Chin Wee,
Il n’y a pas de chagrin plus profond.
Je repense aux discussions que nous avions, quand vous vous installiez sur le bureau libre en face du mien, sur les bons moments que vous partagiez avec Bryant. Vous me faisiez écouter ses morceaux de violon. Une telle tendresse et fierté paternelle émanait de vous. J’en étais déjà très touchée. Le dévouement de votre épouse et vous-même au bonheur et à la réussite de votre fils m’inspirait un grand respect.
Avec mes plus sincères et douloureuses pensées,
Aurélie
8 juillet 2014
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Louveciennes le 7 juillet 2014
Chère Ee Meng et cher Chin Wee
Je suis toujours sous le choc de l’émotion de ce matin ; si je pense à Bryant, je pense surtout à vous deux.
Je sais comme vous avez tout donné à Bryant et je vois sur le site mémorial tous les éloges qui sont en fait ceux de parents si attentifs à leur enfant. Ce sont ceux de l’amour que vous lui avez donné, ceux de l’humilité que vous lui avez appris, ceux de l’attention aux autres et ceux de la pensée personnelle, critique, précise et constructive que vous lui avez enseignés, l’amour de la musique aussi.
Je suis très proche de vous deux par la pensée et je voudrais être « un vrai magicien » capable de soulager la peine profonde et indicible que par pudeur vous ne montrez pas. Je n’ai que de bien pauvres vœux à formuler : que ce site vous aide à faire le deuil d’un fils dont vous pouvez être très fiers et qu’il vous apporte le réconfort par les témoignages que vous y découvrirez.
Je n’ai pas beaucoup connu Bryant, mais je le vois encore jouer du violon à Cassan et je me souviens avoir couché dans sa chambre d’enfant qu’il m’avait prêtée lorsque j’étais passé vous voir à Londres. Je le connaissais bien plus au travers de l’admiration que Chin Wee, bien que sobre comme toujours, ne pouvait pas cacher chaque fois qu’il en parlait.
Je pense beaucoup à vous deux avec infiniment de compassion recueillie. Je ne sais pas ce que vous ferez dans les mois qui viennent, ni si vous viendrez en France ou en Belgique. Appelez nous quand vous voudrez ou quand vous sentirez que vous le pouvez ; ce sera pour nous un moment de chaleur que de vous revoir ou de vous entendre. Pour les obsèques et si vous pouvez juste me dire quand ils se tiendront je m’associerai à vous en pensée à ce moment.
Dominique, et pour Nathalie, Ladislas et Lydéric.